


He knew, he knew all along it was never meant to be

by nottodaysucker1



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dream Team SMP Setting (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Drowning, Emotional Hurt, Explicit Language, He's so sorry, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Non-Canonical Character Death, Roleplay, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Short, Short One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tommy is scared and sad, TommyInnit Needs a Break (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), how do you tag, i never write, mentions of everyone of the dream smp, this is the first thing ive ever written please go easy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:40:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29111718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nottodaysucker1/pseuds/nottodaysucker1
Summary: Trigger warning: suicideYou can’t expect things to work out okay, you can’t control it, you can’t control anything.We’re all lonely and all we want is for someone to pay attention.Tommy needed saving, but there was no one there to save him.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & Technoblade & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Kudos: 144





	He knew, he knew all along it was never meant to be

He echoed in your presence, he wanted to be just like you. Your movements, your words, your voice. He wanted you to come back, to be here, to be proud of him. He was so scared.

“Am I the villain in this story?” the words bounced off the walls of his head, why did it have to be like this? He didn’t mean for this to happen, he didn’t want this, no one did

“I was willing to fight all of them for you, tommy”. Was this his fault? He should have let them help, he should have listened to them.

“all things must come to an end eventually”.  
His eyes bled with tears  
“please don’t go”.

You can’t expect things to work out okay, you can’t control it, you can’t control anything.  
We’re all lonely and all we want is for someone to pay attention.

Is this what drowning felt like? The surface of the water in sight, but you’re too weak to reach it? Overwhelmed with the sensation of near-death, and in this moment, everything becomes clear, everything becomes worth it. The screaming, the crying, the blood, the war. No one meant for it to happen like this.  


He sees you; he feels you. He wants to be like you. To be... dead? To be missed. To be dwelled upon with memories of fun, memories of games, and,,, and laughter. Not the fear he feels now. This game is new, this game is different, and he’s so scared. He’s so scared.  


They don’t understand. He tried, he tried so hard, so hard it broke him. When he screamed the words, heard them spilling out of him in broken shrieks, watching their eyes seep with disappointment, he couldn’t help but loose himself. “You don’t get it! Some of us don’t get to be the hero of our story, some of us are the bad guys! I’m so sick of all your bullshit. All of you, look me in the fucking eyes and tell me, just tell me that you haven’t betrayed someone, that you haven’t broken someone’s trust. We’re all fucking hypocrites. To love, or to be loved, to save or to be the saviour, to break or to be the broken, it doesn’t fucking matter anymore! We lost. We lost everything. You blamed me! You don’t understand, you never understood, because you never fucking listen to me!" 

I’m sorry… I’m so fucking sorry.”

He just needed someone, anyone to listen to him.  


Please.

But they didn’t.  


He knew, he knew all along it was never meant to be

And now he’s here, at the end. He hopes it was worth it.  
Things would be okay, for a split second, waking up in a dream-like state, and everything was fine. Everything they had worked for was still here, no one was dead, no war. And then, he remembers, and he wishes nothing to keep dreaming forever.  


His feet let the earth crumble beneath him, watching as the stones dropped until out of sight. This was okay. He was okay.  


“please don’t go”,  


“please don’t go”,  


“please don’t go”,  


His own words screaming in his head, blearing so loud it was deafening, it hurt. The pain was so loud, he felt like screaming. His hands clasped at his hair, tugging as to keep himself grounded, he was still here. But he was not okay.

He knew the feeling of losing someone, the tears would spill and his breathe would stop, his head would cloud until he felt nothing, he could do nothing without them there, with him. He would cry and beg for them to just come back. He wouldn’t wish the pain on his enemy.  


But he doesn’t think anyone would replicate those emotions for himself, no one would even notice, right?  


The ground was out of site, so far down that he could only imagine. If he did this, he would be free, he would be with Wilbur, everything would be okay again. Its what he deserved, they told him, they didn’t let him forget it.  


The memories flashed, so fast it hurt, his eyes stung with tears and his hands shook with fear. He didn’t want it to end like this. He wanted to be the hero, he meant to be the fucking hero. What went wrong?  


With one last breath, one last look, one last moment, he let himself fall.

Their words still echoing in his head.

“it’s your fault”.

He’s sorry, he’s so fucking sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> i never write but this was just a vent, i hope you enjoyed
> 
> you'll be okay. <3


End file.
